The Surly Mermaid

she just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

2010-06-18T09:34:00.004+12:00

ten famous kiwis:

rachel hunter (model, rod stewart's ex wife, star of the stacey's mom video and dancer with the stars)
lucy lawless (XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!)
peter jackson (director of all the lord of the rings films)
cliff curtis (rabbit from trauma)
russel crowe (gladiator)
sam neill (the cardinal from th etudors, jurassic park)
anna paquin (sookie from true blood)
phil keoghan (from amazing race)
brett & jermaine (flight of the conchords)
melanie lynskey (rose from two and a half men)

risin' up, back on the street

2010-06-16T21:52:00.002+12:00

my love for survivor is boundless. my ten favourite players are:

yul
parvati
courtenay
richard hatch
amy (omg amy!)
sugar
boston rob
ethan
ozzy (first time, not all stars)
stephenie

what i need is a good defence

2010-06-14T21:00:00.002+12:00

ten things i am illegally downloading from uTorrent without guilt because my tiny useless country does not show them on tv:

torchwood
carnivale
californication
the wire
oz
the shield
supernatural
deadwood
sons of anarchy
jersey shore

i am the last of the famous international playboys

2010-06-12T10:48:00.003+12:00

ten bigwigs i schmoozed at last night's flash matariki ball i went to for work:

my CE
the ex chair of the waitangi tribunal
his mad as a meataxe wife
the ex-deputy chair of the waitangi tribunal and current high court judge
the maori language commissioner
the MP for Waiariki
the ex principal maori advisor for dpmc
one of the partners from chapman tripp
the CE of ngai tahu runanga
the maori development officer for creative new zealand arts council

i'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining

2010-06-08T19:40:00.004+12:00

to commemorate the sixteenth day in a row of thunderstorms in wellington, my ten favourite rain songs:

fire and rain (james taylor)
purple rain (prince)
I can't stand the rain (tina turner)
why does it always rain on me (travis)
let it rain (amanda marshall)
november rain (guns and roses)
only happy when it rains (garbage)
a hard rain's gonna fall (bob dylan)
no rain (blind melon)
it's raining men (the weather girls)

i'm wicked and i'm lazy

2010-06-05T16:48:00.002+12:00

ten things i committed to myself i'd do this morning at 3am during a bout of insomnia that i have actually done:

get up and out early this morning
buy gorrilla filla and steel wool
use said gorrilla filla and steel wool to block up the mouse's hole FOR GOOD
and fill up the other hole in the spare room
clean up the laundry
move old wood from the back out to the front so that i can get a bin and get rid of it
laundry
cook something delicious for dinner
vaccuuming
press play for 30 minutes

walking back to happiness

2010-06-03T21:17:00.002+12:00

ten places i can walk to from my house:

work
the vet
the best coffee in wellington at people's
the farmers market on sunday mornings
the only dog exercise area in wellington
oriental parade
s&m, my favourite bar
embassy, paramount and the empire, my favourite movie theatres
my mechanic
the mediterranean warehouse, moshims, moore wilsons...

i like the lady newsreader more than the reviews of the day

2010-05-31T16:25:00.003+12:00

ten actresses i love, but that i forget how much i love them, until i see them in something, and then i remember how much i love them, and i yell at the screen how much i love them and other people look at me funny:

janeane garofalo
bebe neuwirth
tammy lynn michaels
rosie perez
lucy liu
joanna lumley
daniela nardini
davina mcall
jacqueline pearce
simone lahbib

didn't i make you feel like you were the only one?

2010-05-30T15:17:00.003+12:00

ten reasons why crystal, not lee, should've won:

come to my window
me and bobby mcgee
black velvet
you can't always get what you want
midnight train to georgia
people get ready
give me one reason
hand in pocket
maybe i'm amazed
whatever the final song that she sang was that would've got released if she had won...

aotearoa, rugged individual glisten like a pearl

2010-05-27T20:37:00.004+12:00

ten new zealand things i just don't get (to be fair and equal)

why we're obsessed with rugby and think we're good at it. we last won the rugby world cup in 1987, and basically only 5 other countries play it well.
john key
why we're always ashamed about being good at stuff
how come you can get married to someone the same sex as you but you still can't adopt kids
why broadband is so ridiculously expensive compared to other countries
auckland
eating kina
marmite
tomato sauce on EVERYTHING
ugg boots

all my life, watching america

2010-05-26T16:27:00.004+12:00

ten american things i don't get:

cheese in a can
sarah palin
decent healthcare only for the rich
american football
the desperate urge to be on reality tv
the jersey shore
treating the indigenous culture with disdain for the most part
fear of non-english speaking countries
why hardly anyone has a passport
letterman

misty water colour memories of the way we were

2010-05-25T10:27:00.003+12:00

ten things i enjoyed doing at the time but i'm kinda glad i never have to do them again:

law school
working till 2am to finish my really awesome submissions
going to dance parties that finished when the sun came up
snorting coke off marble table tops in flash flats in london
crazy one night stands
drinking with the goal of throwing up to make it onto the spew chart
maths
working at the ihc home
living off $150 per week
going to the gym twice a day

what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise

2010-05-22T19:22:00.003+12:00

ten people i saw today at mikey's funeral that i haven't seen since varsity:

booney
pete
cath
gemma
boyd
bird
jason
kirsty
sally
nick

we learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school

2010-05-21T22:19:00.003+12:00

my ten favourite high school movies:

heathers
mean girls
carrie
jawbreaker
grease
pretty in pink
say anything
dazed and confused
american graffitti
the breakfast club

to all the girls i've loved before

2010-05-16T15:33:00.003+12:00

an update on ten of my exes:

I.C- married three weeks ago (to a woman, yay!)
A.J.L - still in barcelona (7 years now)
G.S - married last year (to a rich boy from a good family)
D.B - dating a 23 year old
L.E - happily married to a good friend of mine (which makes me happy)
S.G - nearly 40 and still no kids (despite it all)
S.H - still not made partner (bwahahahaha)
D.G - still an unhappy alcoholic
K.F - born again christian
A.H - fallen off the face of the earth

everyone i know goes away in the end

2010-05-13T19:57:00.003+12:00

ten people i've known who have died:

mikey (motorcycle crash in gabon, two days ago)
michael (took his own life, two weeks ago)
colin (50 years of alcohol abuse, 11 months ago)
tony (car crash, 2006)
simon (HIV complications, 2005)
martin (throat cancer, 2003)
mike (private plane crash, 2000)
campbell (took his own life, 1997)
dave (caving accident, 1995)
chrissy (complications from disability, 1993)

i heard you on my wireless back in '52

2010-05-10T16:25:00.004+12:00

ten new crystal clear channels i get with my new uhf aerial. it's been 34 years in the making:

tv1
tv2
tv3
c4
c4two
maori tv
prime
tv7
parliament tv!
national radio!

there's no doubt i'm gonna be sex offensive to you

2010-05-09T14:08:00.003+12:00

ten ridiculous things i have spent money on recently/ am looking at splashing out on in an attempt to ignore how increasingly depressed my work is making me / michael's death / the impending first anniversary of my father's death / my nan going down hill fast:

huge big LCD tv to replace the old tv i've had forever and only gets two channels
brand spanking new UHF aerial to replace the bunny ears i've have for 15 years
many pointless wii games that involve killign things in increasingly violent yet creative ways
a HD decoder thingee that i can plug my hard drive into that plays AVI files (and heaps more) on the new telly
a new transmitter so icanplay the ipod in the car without having to muck around with the connection every kilometre or so
th limited edition debbie harry chucks that are GOLD LEOPARD PRINT with blondie on the insole
a kitchenaide mixer in PURPLE
a second house in motueka
a big canvas tent for xmas / new years
more boots

i like bread and butter, and i like toast and jam

2010-05-06T21:50:00.002+12:00

ten things i bought to nom from the pak n save during my 48 hour work trip to rotorua:

roast chicken
salad
salad dressing
vogels
yoghurt
blackcurrant juice
berries
olives
crackers
brie

LA is a great big freeway

2010-05-05T19:01:00.002+12:00

ten places i drove through (and back) today to get to my meeting:

napier
keteketerau
bay view
whirinaki
tangoio
tutira
kahika
putorino
kotemaori
raupunga

i'd rather be cool than be loved

2010-05-04T13:29:00.003+12:00

ten female bass players:

Kim Deal (from the Pixies)
Melissa Auf der Maur (formerly of Hole)
Kim Gordon (from Sonic Youth)
Tina Weymouth (founding member of Talking Heads)
Jennifer Finch (from L7)
Leslie Hardy (formerly of Hole)
Zia McCabe (from The Dandy Warhols)
Johnette Napolitano (from Concrete Blonde)
Micki Steele (from The Bangles)
D'arcy Wretzky (formerly of The Smashing Pumpkins)

dreaming is free

2010-05-03T19:58:00.002+12:00

ten women that i pretend i look like in my mind:

jennifer tilly
karen (hank's wife) from californication
tura satana
madonna, circa like a prayer
elizabeth taylor, circa cat on a hot tin roof
detective olivia benson
joan from mad men
kat von d
rose mcgowan
jennifer beals

say it ain't so, i will not go

2010-05-02T12:29:00.003+12:00

ten reasons i'm going to try and stick this job out even though people are leaving and those of us remaining feel like we're under siege:

i want to move to nelson, i should wait until i get a job there
it's the bullshit politics i hate, not the actual job itself
there would be office politics wherever i go
there are days when i can leave at 5
i get to have days out of the office on the road by myself which makes me happy
i still like some of the people that remain
i think i can handle the big boss
my team loves me
i get paid really well
really well

i hear the same old talk talk talk

2010-04-26T08:49:00.003+12:00

ten most memorable moments from henry rollins at the paramount last night:

attempting to be less cynical
cat stevens
sons of anarchy
appearing as a guest judge on rupaul's drag race
the reasons for sara and todd palin doing it
'over the top' face
learning to appreciate airport security pat downs
biologic on the tree
barack hussein obama
your ass

i want your ugly, i want your disease

2010-04-25T14:19:00.003+12:00

ten things about michael:

he was the quickest, wittiest and sharpest of us all
he was the only one brave enough to tell me that my eyeliner was all wrong
he had gorgeous cheekbones
he explained to me the difference between emporio and georgio when i was very young
he made perfect gin and tonics
he taught me how to vogue
he loved the pet shop boys remix of liza minnelli doing sondheim's 'losing my mind'
he always gave me a cigarette, even when he was broke and i was well off
he loved his friends and his cat
his wake is tomorrow

love don't play any games with me anymore

2010-04-20T22:35:00.003+12:00

my ten favourite reasons jerry gave for dumping his girlfriends:

1. For refusing to taste his pie at the coffee shop ("The Pie").
2. For eating her peas one at a time ("The Engagement").
3. Because she had "man hands" ("The Bizarro Jerry").
4. Because she had once dated Newman, who had ended the relationship ("The Big Salad").
5. Because she wouldn't give him a massage ("The Masseuse").
6. Because she wouldn't let him play with her collection of antique toys ("The Merv Griffin Show")
7. Because he kept spitting out the mutton she cooked for him and hiding it in her napkins. ("The Wink")
8. Because she acted in the same manner as him: "I can't be with somebody like me! I hate myself!". ("The Invitations")
9. Because he admitted to changing the size 32 to size 31 of all his jeans because he "doesn't want to be a 32." ("The Sponge")
10. Because she liked a commercial that he hated ("The Phone Message")

sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand

2010-04-18T10:17:00.003+12:00

ten favourite non-blogging / social media websites:

you're my favourite waste of time

2010-04-14T19:22:00.003+12:00

ten wii games that i waste both my time and money on in an attempt to recapture my lost youth:

house of the dead: overkill
band hero
guitar hero 5
acdc rockband
the simpsons
beatles rockband
scarface
indiana jones
lego rockband
mario kart racing

i spend half my life in airports doing crosswords and attempting to sleep

2010-04-13T14:20:00.003+12:00

ten reasons that spending the day in the rotorua office makes life okay again:

we go to yamamoto for lunch and i gorge myself on fresh sashimi
i get 32 airpoints
the staff always make me feel really good
one of the staff members in particular always gives me really good insightful advice about what i should do with my life
i am temporarily removed from the insanity of the wellington office
the water tastes better up here
i get better perspective from a distance
free magazines to take home from the koru lounge!
the administrator loads up my hard drive with new movies
no pointless huis sucking my will to live

wasted days and wasted nights

2010-04-11T22:07:00.002+12:00

ten guitar hero games that if they brought out i'd probably have to quit my day job:

Guitar Hero: The Smiths
Guitar Hero: Legends of Chick Rock
Guitar Hero: The Who
Guitar Hero: The Rolling Stones
Guitar Hero: The Pixies
Guitar Hero: Melissa Etheridge
Guitar Hero: Kiwi Classics
Guitar Hero: Glee
Guitar Hero: Flying Nun
Guitar Hero: The Ramones

36-24-36, give me lots of pretty chicks

2010-04-10T14:59:00.004+12:00

ten chicks i like, but my missuss just doesn't get. a companion piece:

detective olivia benson
drew barrymore
ellen degeneres
oprah
kat von d
jillian michaels
rachel maddow
sam ronson
tracy chapman
nigella

she's got girls, girls all over the world

2010-04-09T20:33:00.005+12:00

ten chicks my girl likes, but that i just don't get:

tabatha coffey
kate walsh
marie osmond. MARIE OSMOND!
callie from grey's anatomy
the chick from bones
the other chick from bones
lily allen
baby spice
the blonde chick with the big bug eyes from america's next top model
me

before they put a record out, before they went gold

2010-04-08T19:02:00.001+12:00

ten best live acts I’ve seen:
1. pixies
2. violent femmes
3. rolling stones
4. pulp
5. fleetwood mac
6. melissa etheridge
7. kd lang
8. portishead
9. leonard cohen
10. pearl jam

she holds the hand that holds her down

2010-04-07T16:59:00.004+12:00

ten good things about my father:

he was born in belfast
he was a catholic and a staunch irish republican
i learnt how to deal with people from him.
he was incredibly practical and could build and fix things really well
he taught my sister how to drive (but not me) and that's why she's a much better driver than i am
he liked guinness
if he was interetsed in something, he got REALLY interested in it, but usually only for a really short time
he liked to read big blockbuster novels (like james clavell) over and over again
his favourite food was chicken vindaloo
he would've been 66 today

working for yourself sometimes ain't all that it's cracked up to be

2010-04-06T21:18:00.002+12:00

ten domestic airports i've been to in the past year:

whangarei
bay of islands
auckland
hamilton
tauranga
rotorua
napier
gisborne
nelson
christchurch

i know a girl who reminds me of cher

2010-04-05T10:09:00.001+12:00

The ten cookbooks I use most often:
1. Amrita Vegetarian
2. Madhur Jaffrey’s Curry Bible
3. Nigel Slater: Real Cooking
4. Edmonds Cook Book
5. Digby Law’s Pickles and Preserves
6. The Black Dog Cafe Cookbook
7. Scent of the Monsoon Winds
8. Country Women’s Institute Cookbook
9. Nigel Slater's Kitchen Diaries
10. The New World Encyclopedia of Cooking

i'm a drama queen if that's your thing, baby

2010-04-04T12:48:00.003+12:00

my last ten status updates on facebook:

1. has cleaned out her laundry. whilst i cannot yet confirm that the process has gotten rid of the mouse infestation, i can confirm that the process has made me lose my lunch.
2. burgers pasta pizza curry fries toast noodles. Sigh.
3. iz in yr internetz, dwnloadin yr stuffz fr free.
4. had steak and coffee for breakfast. nothing else. just steak and coffee.
5. 4 days off and i'm not even a christian. how do you like them apples, Jebus?
6. it's 11.15pm. i have just finished work. kids - let this be a warning. i was once young, with hopes and dreams like you have.
7. no more facebook for me for a bit.
8. is communing with her bad self
9. went to the pixies last night. it was like being 18 again, except with a lot more white people in their mid thirties.
10. my girl would leave me for tabatha in a heartbeat. fine with me, means detective benson and i can stop with all the sneaking around.

i just got me a brand new box of matches, yeah

2010-04-03T09:39:00.003+13:00

my ten favourite pairs of boots:

my brown high heeled cowboy boots with woven toes that were hand made in italy ad i can wear everywhere.
my blood red vintage cowboy boots with fantastic detailing and perfectly balanced heels that i picked up in some fabulous second hand shop in melbourne which had hundreds of cowboy boots to choose from, and i nearly wet myself in excitement
my vintage 90s new rock boots with skull buckles that i found online brand new which were last made in spain in 1994
my black new rock boots with silver flames that while aren't as awesome as the new rock boots with red flames, are subtle enough to be worn to work. sort of.
my old school new rock boots without any extraneous detailing which i've had to have reheeled twice and new zips put in, but that i can't bearto part with because i've worn them in perfectly
my custom docs that are shiny silver leather with long black pieces of ribbon instead of laces that need to wrap around my legs so they look like a corset and have black beads on them
my zebra print docs that are hairy like zebras and people want to touch all the time
my vintage 80s stiletto boots that have leopard print lining, but can only be worn when i am being ferried between location to location because whilst they are fabulous, they cripple my feet.
my high top black leather chucks, with two straps of velcro at the highest point, that make me officially down with the kids.
my bright orange vinyl go go boots that come to just below my knee that go with nothing, and therefore go with everything.

I wear my leather jacket like a great big hug

2010-04-02T10:39:00.002+13:00

my ten favourite items of clothing
1. orange suede jacket
2. green floral shirt
3. pink and black swirly skirt
4. green bullseye skirt
5. white stripey country road shirt
6. olive green top with the bondage chicks on it
7. cherry red leather jacket
8. little black dress
9. leopard print jacket
10. dead wreckoning t-shrt

i hate everything about you

2010-03-30T23:01:00.002+13:00

ten things that PISS ME OFF right now:

i had to get a plane at 7.30am to work out of the rotorua office
i have had to deal with IDIOTS IN BUREAUCRACY in the wellington office over the phone - if it would've been a normal day i would've walked over and kicked them with my steel caps
i had dry and disgusting pasta for dinner, and i always love pasta
i have NO CIGARETTES
i have literally just finished working and it's 11pm
i have ten board papers to review by Thursday
i will have to rewrite many of them as my team, whilst i love them very much and acknowledge they are brilliant in the field, are SEMI-ILLITERATE
the tea in this hotel room is HORRIBLE
i have forgotten to pack my pjs
I AM SOBER

superfreak! superfreak!

2010-03-29T21:28:00.003+13:00

ten things i freak out about:

other people making my bed
other people doing my laundry
my internet not working
my dogs limping randomly
crying women
my car not going
my garden
ex girlfriends
thinking about my nan
the mouse i can never get rid of

Take a picture so I can look at you from the inside as well

2010-03-28T21:17:00.000+13:00

My ten favorite Japanese dishes
1. salmon nigri
2. endame beans
3. California rolls
4. tuna rolls
5. teriyaki salmon
6. daikon
7. miso soup
8. salmon skin rolls
9. tempura prawns
10. sashimi

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

2010-03-27T15:02:00.003+13:00

ten quiz questions from me and boston's quiz last night at s&m's:

what are the only three ingredients in traditional pesto?
is the waimakariri river in the north or south island?
who were the last 5 nz prime ministers?
which film won the best picture oscar this year?
what flavour is the liqueur amaretto?
what song has the first line "there is freedom within, there is freedom without"?
what's the name of the character ellen degeneres voices in finding nemo?
how many states in the USA don't have the death penalty?
what percentage of peanut butter actually has to be peanuts?
what was the last musical to win the best picture oscar?

this is thriller night

2010-03-25T22:57:00.003+13:00

ten awesome things about the kiwi film "boy" that i just saw this evening:

it's directed by taika waititi, the same guy who directed eagle vs shark (you should see that too)
it's set in the beautiful waihau bay (out whanau apanui way)
it's funny
it's sad
it's real
the kid actors are quite fantastic
it takes you back to 1984 - popsicles, stubbies and flip flops
it won an award at the sundance festival
never has so much been conveyed by the words 'chur bro'
the thriller haka at the end just needs to be seen to be believed

plays the guitar just like he's ringing a bell

2010-03-23T21:24:00.002+13:00

my ten favourite songs on guitar hero / band hero / rockband (i love it all):

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n roll
ruby
honky tonk woman
love story
take a picture
happy together
so what
bad reputation
sex on fire

the best thing you've ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously

2010-03-22T10:07:00.003+13:00

ten fabulous things about my long weekend in nelson:

it was a long weekend
it was in nelson
i had a day out with my mum for her birthday
i touched my little sister's baby bump for the first time
i saw alice in wonderland in 3d with my mum
i watched 4 movies on my laptop (cos i couldn't sleep)
i sat in the sun and talked with my sis
i had really good pad thai
mum's tomatoes and mint and potatoes and rosemary smelt incredible
i got some camping stuff for cheap

i've been careless with a delicate man

2010-03-16T19:08:00.003+13:00

ten fantastic tv shows i'd never see without the awesome power of illegal downloading and unlimited broadband:

office (us)
californication
nip / tuck
nighty night
peep show
spaced
inbetweeners
skins
spaced
the thick of it

i've had it up to here

2010-03-15T19:15:00.002+13:00

the ten best things about being a femme are:

You know the difference between a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait and a macchiato. And if you don't, you know how to fake it.
Nobody expects you to change a tire.
You only wear polyester when you mean to.
At any given instant, you can recite who was a lesbian since the dawn of history.
You are, hands down, your nieces' favorite aunty.
You can tell your sexual compatibility with a potential partner by the way she holds her drink.
You've always got an opinion, and don't mind sharing it.
You know how to "air kiss".
You know which wine to bring.
You never hold a grudge for longer than a decade.

work sucks, i know

2010-03-14T11:33:00.001+13:00

my ten favourite supporting characters on the US version of the Office:

Jan
Meredith
Stanley
Creed
Kelly
Kevin
Angela
Oscar
Daryl
Phyllis

wish i had a girlfriend as cool as kim deal

2010-03-13T14:34:00.002+13:00

ten songs the pixies played last night:

Gigantic
wave of mutilation (TWICE!)
Where is My Mind?
Hey
La la love you
I bleed
Monkey Gone to Heaven
Debaser
Here Comes Your Man
There Goes My Gun

can’t get the stink off, it’s been hanging round for days

2010-03-11T12:16:00.000+13:00

my ten favourite cheeses:
1. Parmigiano Reggiano
2. Roquefort
3. Gruyère
4. roncal
5. Mozzarela di Bufala
6. Taleggio
7. Feta
8. Provolone
9. Strzelecki Blue
10. Stilton

just one day out of life

2010-03-10T11:55:00.003+13:00

This day eight years ago I got on the plane to Koh Samui and had the best two weeks of my life. If I close my eyes I can still remember how things felt. The top ten sensory experiences I have held on to are:

view of all the palm trees as I flew into Koh Samui
stepping out of the airconditioned Bangkok international airport at midnight into humidity so intense it felt like it'd been slapped with a hot wet blanket
the taste of ice cold fresh coconut juice on the beach
smoky whole lobster that had been barbecued wrapped in banana leaves
hearing the lounge band perform "you say it best" every night as the sunset
cold singha beer and scalding hot tom yum from two loungers pushed together outside the villa
the way an elephant's skin feels when you hold your palm to it
the way the Gulf of Thailand feels on your naked body
the feel of hot sand betwen my toes when i stepped out of a tiny boat onto a tiny island where there were only two people
watching a storm roll in from the distance as I sat on the beach

can't see straight like i got one eye

2010-03-09T18:04:00.003+13:00

wellington turned on a pearler today, and so did my ipod. these are the ten perfect songs that came on shuffle as i walked home in the sun:

bring it all back - s club 7
morning train - sheena easton
champagne supernova - oasis
stand up - scribe
world shut your mouth - julian cope
the magnificent seven - the clash
renaissance - m people
once in a lifetime - talking heads
when you say nothing at all - ronan keating
down on the corner - ccr

i'll settle for one day to believe in you

2010-03-08T20:50:00.002+13:00

ten lies I tell myself:
1. I was hungry, I needed the extra half sandwich.
2. I don't look fat in these pants.
3. I can stop whenever I want.
4. Next time, things will be different
5. I’m over her.
6. I don't need anyone.
7. I'll look for a new job next week.
8. This is the year I’ll start some post-graduate study.
9. I asked for it.
10. No one will ever know

art for arts sake, art for arts sake

2010-03-07T09:36:00.004+13:00

ten most glorious album covers:
1. country life – roxy music
2. trout mask replica – captain beefheart
3. nevermind – nirvana
4. abbey road – beatles
5. sticky fingers – rolling stones
6. lovesexy – prince
7. bat out of hell – meatloaf
8. dirty deeds done dirt cheap – acdc
9. parallel lines – blondie
10. houses of the holy – led zep

Dominion Road is bending under its own weight

2010-03-06T21:03:00.003+13:00

Ten things I hate about Auckland
1. people drive like cunts
2. the coffee is, generally, shite
3. people think they’re superior because they live here
4. everything is really far apart
5. it takes ages to get anywhere
6. when you do get there, it’s bloody expensive
7. restaurant quality is like russian roulette
8. there are too many people and they are all disinterested in you
9. there are too many shopping malls – and shopping in them is the norm
10. you can’t go out and get crappily drunk as it’s a $60 taxi ride back home

if you keep on talkin' baby, you're gonna drive me insane

2009-11-19T13:28:00.004+13:00

my ten favourite trash talk shows:

dr phil
oprah
ellen
rikki lake
jeremy kyle
sally jessy
kilroy
jerry springer
graham norton
trisha

is she really going out with him?

2009-11-17T20:24:00.003+13:00

ten choice things about my toast martinborough weekend:

it was good to see steve again
it was good to see paul again
jen was actually really nice to me
the weather was great
rick and ang were lovely
great wine
raclette on sourdough rocks my world
the kids were quite awesome
the beat girls fucking rock
i finally saw bruno

i met her outsde the IGA

2009-11-13T15:00:00.003+13:00

ten things i got at the supermarket today:

dozen eggs
philadelphia cream cheese
cottage cheese
gingernuts
kaitaia fire sauce
chickpeas
kidney beans
chopped tomatoes (chili and herbs)
chopped tomatoes (basil and oregano)
1 flybuys point

leave me alone, i'm lonely

2009-11-12T22:58:00.003+13:00

ten things i like doing by myself that aren't the same with other people around:
1. sleeping in on weekend mornings
2. playing playstation / wii
3. cooking
4. sleeping on the couch
5. looking at utter bullshit on the net
6. driving with the top down
7. singing out loud
8. grocery shopping
9. watching TV
10. pottering in second hand / junk shops

yawn and stretch and try to come to life

2009-09-06T19:42:00.003+12:00

ten reasons why i love my new job more than any i've had before:

people actually listen to what i have to say
i'm pretty much in charge of my working week
it's an incredibly laid back atmosphere
i can roll in at 9am
i'm building up heaps of airpoints
the people are great
even the idiots are harmless
there's very little overtime
the work is actually simple, if you are organised
i earn an incredible amount of money

you don't know about music do ya?

2008-05-06T12:53:00.004+12:00

ten songs kd lang didn't sing last night that i hoped she would:
1. shadowlands
2. just keep me movin'
3. walk through the snow barefoot
4. calling all angels
5. i want it all
6. big boned gal
7. the joker
8. cryin'
9. this mind of love
10. the air that i breathe

some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers

2008-05-03T17:30:00.005+12:00

ten things i ate and drank during last night's binge:
1. becks beer
2. flat white
3. roast duck
4. twice cooked pork
5. chinese tea
6. chinese veges
7. tom collins
8. singapore sling
9. rice
10. cosmopolitan

beautiful girl, love your dress

2008-04-28T12:41:00.004+12:00

ten people that i'd lost contact with that are back in my life through the magical power of facebook:
1. amanda
2. racheal
3. kirsty
4. chris
5. zoe
6. anthea
7. kathleen
8. dave
9. simon
10. elton

elegant and wasted

2008-04-23T09:15:00.003+12:00

top ten ways i waste time at work:
1. transcribe recipies into a database
2. read the metro magazines that the work library subscribes to
3. do code crackers out of my special code cracker book hidden in my in tray
4. do the dom post crossword
5. email people
6. facebook my arse off
7. look at le crueset auctions on trademe
8. talk to people around the office
9. look at pictures on http://www.ffffound.com/ (highly recommended)
10. blog

people who need people are the luckiest people in the world

2008-04-09T11:50:00.003+12:00

ten people i'm going to miss from work (in no order...)
1. jardine
2. shoes optional nicky
3. the susan chamberlain experience
4. fishboy
5. a.c. penguin
6. little jess
7. donna
8. mr hensmansman
9. sarah lynn
10. kathrine pantsfield

new york city ain’t for little pussies like you

2008-04-06T14:35:00.002+12:00

ten songs with new york in the title:
1. New York State of Mind
2. I Love New York
3. First We Take Manhattan
4. New York, New York
5. New York City Boy
6. Fairytale of new york
7. I guess the lord must be in new york city
8. New york
9. Jamaican in new york
10. Englishman in new york

will life ever be sane again

2008-04-05T18:50:00.001+13:00

the ten tube and train stations I used most often in London:
1. tooting broadway
2. tooting junction
3. wimbledon
4. new malden
5. london bridge
6. elephant and castle
7. putney
8. streatham
9. piccadily
10. kings cross

hearts will play tippy tippy tay

2008-04-04T11:51:00.003+13:00

my ten favourite types of pasta:
1. orzo
2. spaghetti
3. linguine
4. penne
5. conchiglie
6. orchette
7. ravioli
8. lasagne
9. cannelloni
10. farfalle

like a sinner before the gates of heaven

2008-04-03T15:42:00.002+13:00

ten things I’ve learnt from this job:
1. format paint
2. paragraph line spacing
3. tcrs vs cros
4. government is slow. except when it wants to ride roughshod for its own purposes
5. being a manager is different than being a leader
6. some people can’t write very clearly
7. most meetings could be dealt with in one or two emails
8. getting the bus to and from work isn’t that bad
9. i don’t mind getting dressed up properly to go into work
10. kids are more confident these days

i'll be back at echo beach someday

2008-04-02T15:54:00.004+13:00

The ten best songs in the FSB Songbook:
1. Boat Out of Hell
2. I'm Bringing Nicky Back
3. Suuuuuuusannnnn, You Don't Have To Put On The Red Tights
4. You're So Vague
5. Four Briefings in One Day
6. She's a Got a Little Anal Cleanliness
7. Jardine, We're Begging Of You Please Don't Talk About Poo
8. My Boots Are High But I'm Marching On
9. His Name Was Parry, He Was Our Fishboy
10. The RON Song

he can’t be held responsible, she fell in love in the first place

2008-03-31T21:57:00.004+13:00

Ten random memories from the hostel at varsity:

1. sitting in the tiny phone room talking for hours on end and picking the carpet (no cellphones back then)

2. writing lots of letters and choosing which of the ten pack of kiwiana stamps to use that would fit the person I was writing to (no emails back then)

3. walking home across the courtyard and having the song Heater by the Muttonbirds stuck in my head

4. fish and chips from over the road – and that one always hid under the inner wrapper (no caring about weight gain back then)

5. stealing the plastic balls from the kids play area at georgie pie and keeping them as prized possessions

6. using the hand wringer and drying my laundry in my room to save money (no money back then)

7. sitting in my armchair, making lists for studying

8. smuggling chicken and cheese from the dining hall to make toasties with pete’s special toastie herbs

9. mike’s room that was completely lined with lion red cans – modern fucking art

10. getting the block warden to go into bronwen’s room so I could get back my L7 tape

You’re my first, my last, my everything

2008-03-30T14:08:00.002+13:00

Ten best opening lines – and no, I didn’t include any smiths or Morrissey. That is a list on it own
1. Black Steel - Tricky "I got a letter from the government the other day/I opened and read it, it said they were suckers"
2. Born To Run (Bruce Springsteen) – “In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream"
3. First We Take Manhattan (Leonard Cohen) - "They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom/For trying to change the system from within"
4. Gloria (Patti Smith) - "Jesus died for somebody's sins / but not mine"
5. Into My Arms (Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds) - "I don't believe in an interventionist God"
6. Levi Stubbs' Tears (Billy Bragg) "With the money from her accident she bought herself a mobile home"
7. Rebel Rebel (David Bowie) - "Got your mother in a whirl/She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl"
8. Sign O' The Times (Prince) - "In France a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name"
9. Strange Fruit (Billie Holiday) - "Southern trees bear strange fruit/Blood on the leaves and blood at the root"
10. Werewolves Of London (Warren Zevon) - "I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand/Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain"

You’re standing on my neck

2008-03-26T18:46:00.001+13:00

my ten favourite cartoon characters of all time:
1. jessica rabbit
2. stewie griffin
3. brian
4. leela
5. bender
6. waylon smithers
7. jane lane
8. daria morgendorfer
9. chucky
10. angelica

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

2008-03-24T16:54:00.004+13:00

my top ten no fail recipies:
1. pizza, home made base
2. oven roasted salmon
3. lemon and basil linguine
4. pumpkin soup & home made bread
5. lemon honey
6. apple crumble
7. lamb meatball with barley and parsley salad
8. borlotti beans with tuna and pasta salad
9. chocolate clusters (dark or white)
10. thai inspired risotto

cos there ain't no thing like a chicken wing

2008-03-22T15:24:00.003+13:00

ten things I'm going to do with my $20k windfall:
1. new fence!
2. new guttering!
3. pay off my visa!
4. pay back the $3.5k I borrowed from a mate!
5. new le crueset pots!
6. plans drawn up for renovations!
7. do the renovations!
8. new tiles for my fireplace!
9. rewiring!
10. dishwasher!

I wear my leather jacket like a great big hug

2008-03-21T11:31:00.001+13:00

my ten favourite items of clothing:
1. orange suede jacket
2. green floral shirt
3. white bondage print shirt
4. black ricochet pants
5. black and silver stripey shirt
6. black pinstripe jacket
7. long pink coat
8. green mermaid dress
9. fake cheetah fur jacket
10. my old comfy blue jeans

everyday i love you less and less

2008-03-14T18:07:00.004+13:00

ten favourite apps on facebook:
1. status update (dunno if it's an app, but it's my plaything)
2. vampire-ness
3. dogbook
4. chinese horoscope
5. photos
6. music grid
7. addicted to flight of the conchords
8. cyanide and happiness
9. iLike Music
10. magnetic words

from your head down to your toes

2008-03-12T09:13:00.003+13:00

Ten uniforms at the uniform party I went to last weekend:
1. air hostess
2. nurse
3. french maid
4. nun
5. boy scout
6. naughty schoolboy
7. cowgirl
8. pilot
9. marine
10. rugby player

I want to dive into your oceans, is it raining with you

2008-03-10T19:49:00.001+13:00

Ten Maori phrases you should try to incorporate into your daily language:

1. ko wai to ingoa? / what’s your name?
2. ko _______ ahau / my name’s _______
3. kia ora / hi, thanks, I agree
4. ka rawe / that’s choice
5. homai te pakipaki / give them a round of applause
6. et tu / stand up
7. e noho / sit down
8. ka kite apopo / see you tomorrow
9. haere mai ki te kai! / dinner’s ready, come and get it!
10. taihoa / hang on a minute

I'll make it to you if I have to crawl

2008-03-09T15:58:00.003+13:00

Ten things I've done since I last blogged 15 months ago:
1. Quit my job
2. Started a new job
3. Looked for another job
4. Fell for a friend's girlfriend
5. Acted like a total dork because of it
6. Lost some "friends" in the process
7. Learned about what friendship really does mean
8. Met someone new and fabulous
9. Learned a lot about adult relationships
10. Found some peace

you make my heart go giddy-up

2006-12-20T17:44:00.001+13:00

My ten favourite chocolate bars:
1. Terry’s Chocolate Orange
2. Curly Wurly
3. Turkish Delight
4. Mars Bar
5. Kinder Bueno
6. Snickers
7. Flake
8. Pixie Caramel
9. Aero
10. Crunchie

I remember standing by the wall

2006-12-19T16:40:00.001+13:00

ten of the best Blondie songs:
1. call me
2. one way or another
3. denis
4. maria
5. union city blue
6. dreaming
7. atomic
8. hanging on the telephone
9. rapture
10. tide is high

Jimmy quit, joanie got married

2006-12-18T19:17:00.001+13:00

ten sitcoms from my childhood
1. family ties
2. cosby show
3. growing pains
4. facts of life
5. full house
6. my two dads
7. mad about you
8. perfect strangers
9. taxi
10. who’s the boss

hotel, motel, makes you wanna cry

2006-12-17T21:24:00.001+13:00

ten kiwi bands that are / were frickin choice live:
1. headless chickens
2. shihad
3. exponents
4. 3ds
5. supergroove
6. garageland
7. chris knox
8. darcy clay
9. mobile stud unit
10. head like a hole

no alarms and no surprises

2006-12-16T15:36:00.001+13:00

Ten best things I’ve done
1. worked at an ihc home
2. quit my job
3. went to uni away from home
4. came out properly
5. worked at a bar
6. got a radio show
7. bought my house
8. worked at a big law firm
9. did my oe
10. learnt to drive

I said she wont be true no

2006-12-15T23:10:00.001+13:00

Ten songs with titles that are good rules to live by
1. Do the Right Thing – Spike Lee
2. You Can't Hurry Love - the Supremes
3. I Fought The Law (and the Law Won) – The Clash
4. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow - Frank Zappa
5. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free – Sting
6. Do That To Me One More Time - Captain and Tenille
7. You Should Be Dancing - Bee Gees
8. Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
9. Let My Love Open The Door - Pete Townsend
10. Don't Take Your Guns To Town - Johnny Cash

like a whirlpool it never ends

2006-12-14T08:17:00.001+13:00

ten things i have to do this weekend:
1. bottle and preserve everything
2. walk the dogs
3. do heaps of ipod transfers
4. make fudge and turkish delight
5. see d&b
6. get camping stuff together - possibly buy some
7. get presents for everyone, so shop for wrapping
8. order gift basket for nan
9. go to l&s's anniversary party
10. prep for interview on monday, do appln for the other position

i like bread and butter and i like toast and jam

2006-12-13T12:57:00.001+13:00

ten things i bought to eat while i was away at a hearing this week:
1. eggs
2. vogels bread
3. spinach
4. salad dressing
5. yogurt
6. olives
7. strawberries
8. yoghurt coated coffee beans
9. blackberry liquorice
10. marinated artichokes

ti aho mai, nga roto i te po

2006-12-12T22:10:00.001+13:00

ten maraes I’ve been to:
1. pipitea
2. Whareroa
3. mungatapu
4. awhina
5. Waikawa
6. Hoani waititi
7. papawai
8. romai
9. Tamapahore
10. hungarau

And the judge and the jury, they all put the blame on me

2006-12-11T22:22:00.002+13:00

Ten women judges I’ve appeared in front of:
1. carrie
2. karen
3. joanne
4. jill
5. pam
6. sian
7. susan
8. augusta
9. stephanie
10. lowell

and they call it puppy love

2006-12-10T11:33:00.001+13:00

Ten things I love about my dogs
1. they’re very cute and everyone wants to stop and talk to them
2. they’re not a barker
3. they truly do not give a fuck about anything
4. one of them wags her tail all the time
5. they wont fetch, play Frisbee or do any of that regular dog crap
6. they’re not obsessed by food
7. but they’ll eat anything you give her
8. they doesn’t need long walks every day
9. but when they do go for a walk they’re great on the lead
10. they doesn’t like swimming at the beach so no wet dog smell

grow up, be a man and close your mealy mouth

2006-12-09T18:56:00.001+13:00

ten slogans I’d like on a teeshirt
1. tastes like chicken
2. I fucked your daughter and she loved it
3. I fucked your girlfriend
4. I am a role model
5. westie
6. emotionally unavailable
7. I’m on the drug that killed river phoenix
8. straight edge my arse
9. yes I am
10. old and boring

I’m gonna make it anyway

2006-12-08T13:22:00.001+13:00

ten songs that are politically incorrect and rather dodgy on a closer listen:
1. Illegal Alien – Genesis
2. Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen
3. If You Wanna Be Happy - Jimmy Soul
4. Short People - Randy Newman
5. Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette
6. Brown Sugar - Rolling Stones
7. Killing An Arab - The Cure
8. A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash
9. Tush - ZZ Top
10. He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss) - The Crystals

walk right up to the microphone and sing

2006-12-07T12:36:00.001+13:00

my ten ten favourite duets:
1. candy – iggy pop and kate pierson
2. dead ringer for love – meatloaf and cher
3. something stupid – nancy and frank sinatra
4. some velvet morning – nancy sinatra and lee hazelwood
5. especially for you – kylie and jason
6. don’t go breaking my heart – Elton John and kiki dee
7. kids – Robbie Williams and kylie minogue
8. don’t give up – kate bush and peter gabriel
9. under pressure – david bowie and freddie mercury
10. stop dragging my heart around – tom petty and stevie nicks

don't cry no more don't look to the sky no more

2006-12-06T11:15:00.001+13:00

ten things i learned last night at quiz night:
1. macaroons were invented by italian monks
2. sri lanka and australia have about the same size population
3. cats opened in 1981
4. keifer sutherland won an emmy this year
5. there are 12 roads off the arc de triomphe
6. kurt cobain was 27 when he died
7. toni collette has just released an album
8. the best of queen is the best selling album ever in the uk
9. your ulna runs parallel to your radius
10. the silkworm likes to eat the mulberry bush

If I could start again, a million miles away

2006-12-05T21:35:00.001+13:00

ten scary things i realised today about my workplace:
1. i do not have to be a victim
2. i probably need therapy about a lot of issues i am in denial about
3. i don't cry enough
4. sometimes it is about me, so there
5. there are people who'll be there for you when you need it
6. i am like my mum in the way i deal with relationships
7. i can be passive aggressive, it's the way i deal with situations
8. i snap when i can't take it anymore
9. people do not change just because you want them to
10. i'm the only person who can affect change in my life

hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way

2006-12-04T15:48:00.001+13:00

My ten favourite british TV comedies:
1. Red Dwarf
2. League of Gentlemen
3. Men Behaving Badly
4. Black Books
5. Vicar of Dibley
6. Ab Fab
7. Fawlty Towers
8. Blackadder
9. Little Britain
10. The Office

We are agents of the free

2006-12-03T20:38:00.002+13:00

Slang from clockwork orange I lurve
1. droog – friend
2. devotchka – girl
3. malchick - boy
4. viddy – look
5. malenky – little
6. glazzies – eyes
7. in out in out – shagging
8. Millicent – police
9. pee and emm – mum and dad
10. horrorshow – really good

stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before

2006-12-02T22:17:00.001+13:00

Ten songs that are so totally uncool I can only sing them loudly when I am alone in the car:
1. Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield;
2. Stone Cold Sober – Rod Stewart;
3. Queen of Hearts – Juice Newton
4. Drop the Pilot – Joan Armitrading
5. I Want you Back – Jackson 5
6. I Spent My Last Ten Dollars – Two Nice Girls
7. Ooh Ahh Just a Little Bit – Gina G
8. Paradise by the Dashboard Light – Meatloaf
9. Super Trouper – Abba
10. 9 to 5 – Dolly Parton